Ok, i know that fashion is meant to bring out the best in us, but is it meant to bring out our underwear too?
I just don’t get it. It beats my mind and my imagination put together. A guy takes his bath, puts on a nice shirt, belt, trousers, sprays a nice perfume, gets into a cute pair of shoes then looks at the mirror (yes ladies, guys use the mirror too) and says to himself….”hmmmmm..something is missing” ………He then pulls his trouser down below his waist to his buttocks, revealing his underwear. Now he looks at the mirror again and he is good to go.
Welcome to the fashion trend called sagging. A predominant fashion trend amongst men where the trousers are worn well below the waist, revealing the underwear…..much of the underwear. I always cringe with laughter each time i see a guy in this fashion mode ‘cos it just doesn’t add up. What guy in his right senses would reveal his pants or boxers to the world? So, in an effort to help the guys, i ‘ve been kind enough to come up with four reasons why guys sag their trousers. Promise you wont laugh?…..ok, here goes:
1. Men’s underwear are becoming very expensive these days that it will be a mere waste of money to buy underwear and cover it with trousers after dressing up. We have to show off our expensive and designer boxers and pants na. After all ladies show off their accessories all the time , so kini big deal?
2. Some men are truly not aware that their trousers are sagging, exposing their underwear. Ladies have to understand that men have a lot on their heads these days, trying to be the bread-winner and provide for the family and all, that we actually do not realize when our trousers fall down a little bit below the waist but we somehow are able to suspend it when it gets below the buttocks and somehow manage it like that for the rest of the day. (even me sef dey laugh)
3. The third reason is simple; Belt don finish for market.
4. Emmmmm………………em….emmm……….I cant really cook up a third reason so just go over the three reasons again.
Ok, so i know you guys will not buy any of the reasons i just gave, at least i tried. However, the journalist in me decided to carry out a lil’ investigation to find out where all this sagging stuff started from, and i came up with some very very interesting findings.
Sagging originated in american prisons where belts were banned because most prisoners used belts as weapons to attack prison officials and fellow inmates. Belts were also banned because they were sometimes used to commit suicide. It was common to enter a prison cell those days and see the lifeless body of an inmate dangling from a belt hanging from the ceiling.
Now hear this, later, it was circulated that sagging was a communication code between male prisoners who wanted to have sex with each other. You heard right !!!. Sagging was a gay code in prison. Simply put, any one who was seen sagging in jail then was simply telling other interested gay prisoners to come and have sex.
Naija boys shebi una see una sef, Una go just dey copy wetin una no sabi as e take start. Ever since i found out, i always cringe with laughter each time i see a poor dude sagging his troussers. If only he knew…….
While we’re still on the topic, lets see a few of the folks who are spreading this virus shall we…..
Some governments and companies have actually taken a step to ban this trend. There are airlines which have turned back passengers with sagging trousers. In some parts of America, you can actually get arrested.
Well, for me, arresting guys who sag their trousers in Nigeria may not really deter them, but i know a punishment that will. The national assembly should simply enact a law that will require people who sag their troussers to wear their troussers like this as punishment ………………..
Laffffffs. But seriously guys, there’s a whole lot of reason for this sagging culture to take a back seat because aside from looking ridiculous, i also found out that it has negative health implications too. Yeah. Studies show that it has been linked to erectile dysfunction (don’t ask me how), hip problems, and lower back issues. “These issues stem from consistently wearing pants well below the buttocks, so low that one must change the way he walks.” says the report.
Besides, i usually make fun of ladies who wear very high-heeled shoes and tease them that they wont be able to run for safety in those shoes in the event of trouble but guys, how are you gonna run if there was trouble and you were dressed like this…..
Need i say more?
One of my problems with this trend in Nigeria is the fact that when we copy, we over-copy. We don’t just emulate, we take over the whole trend and even make it worse. We emulated kidnappings from American Mafia and terrorism from Al Qaeda and sadly we took it to a higher level. Same thing goes for sagging.
Every corner where you look, there’s a guy on the road with his boxers exposed and more worrisome is the fact that here, those boxers are dirty and i can imagine the stench oooozing from there as well. I’m pretty sure it’ll be toxic enough to kill a fowl, raise it back to life and kill it again. Just look at Ice Prince’s boxers again…..
and if care is not taken and we need to upgrade from sagging the troussers to sagging the underwear itself , this might just be where we are headed…………………………
TIME FOR AWARDS
Now its time to dish out the JM Blog awards for the craziest display of sagging-troussers so please let the drums roll………………………
Nw, this is heart-breaking. In fact, I’m actually beginning to wonder if he was actually sagging, or if his troussers were genuinely falling off!
…..and just when i thought i had seen it all, this guy just blew my mind away…………………………….
Guys i”ve had enough laughs and i can go on and on about this but i’ve got other interesting stuff to blog about, but before i sign out, lets hear what the president of the country where sagging originated from has to say……………..
Make una no vex, our dear Goodluck Jonathan no dey wear jeans. He’s from the Niger-Delta. Maybe when i blog about bowler hats, i”ll use his picture…….
It’s just a week to my birthday (May 21) and like I said on saturday, I’m already in the mood.
Speaking of birthdays, I have a couple of great friends of mine celebrating their birthdays today May 14th….Seyi (my fellow billionaire), Charles, Dimeji, Tracey, Chilo and even Baby Soma. Happy birthday guys.
Also…let me say happy birthday again to a woman I respect so so much………
That will be all for now guys. Until I see you all again, remember, “every man will have his day”.