Delivered from the power of Blackberry

This has got to be one of my best posts on my blog so far, and for a good reason too. Why you ask?,………well its probably because it’s got to do with a very good companion of yours.  Ok, so I was in church a few days ago and the minister in the first service spoke about addictions and talked about the prevailing addiction to Blackberry phones. I stayed for second service and the second minister, different from the first, also made the same point. There  and then I knew that I had to do a lil’ research.

Isn’t it funny how all of a sudden, it seems our very lives depend on the existence of these devices. Its practically impossible to come across anyone without one. We sleep with it, wake up with it, work with it, play with it. We practically live off it these days, The young ones are becoming more and more addicted to it ………………and the high and mighty ones too are not exempted……………. I very much remember when Blackberry phones first came on the scene, it was more of a “status symbol”. It showed you had class, style  and “levels” but these days, hmmmmmm,  it will even be easy to convince someone that we are actually born with it.

This got me thinking and I decided to research and come up with 10 symptoms (from the internet and my personal research)  that reveal you are a blackberry addict, plus, i’ll share a beautiful video that will help you get off the addiction, so be sure to read till the end. Ready?…here goes…..

Ten Blackberry addiction symptoms
1. You not aware that Blackberry is a fruit: The device has become so popular now that we have even forgotten its originally a fruit!. Someone offers you a blackberry and all you can think about is “Why would someone offer me a phone for lunch!”. On the flip side, someone asks you to come for some Blackberries and you start rehearsing your testimony for a new phone only for you to get there and you see this on the lunch table

Blackberry

2.  You drive hands-free, with your knees!: I have been guilty of this several times…Well, maybe not driving with my knees but I’m sure you get the drift. Infact, I have a friend who has practically mastered the art of “ping-driving!”. After all you need both hands to BBM your best friend about the shoe you just bought.

3. You get worried if your red BB red light isn’t flashing: You start getting restless if you don’t get any notifications either from your Facebook application or your BlackBerry messenger and start imagining that no one loves you! You keep checking to see if anybody pinged you. Infact, you begin to insult and abuse MTN ‘cos you feel they have started again with poor network just because your BB red light hasn’t blinked in 20 minutes. hehehehe

4. You send a BBM chat to a person who is right next to you: This has got to be my favourite BB addiction symptom. Gossip no longer travels by mouth, but only through the addictive messenger service on the smart phone. Why should you bother talking with someone right beside you when you can just send the person a BB chat and wait for his/her reply. How crazy can that be but some of una dey do am.

5. BlackBerry comes first: This is when you practically begin to lose your mind. You are so consumed with your BB that you even lose `self-consciousness`. You are so oblivious of your environment. Someone could rob you while you are busy pinging and you wouldn’t even notice until the robber snatches your blackberry too. You visit someone and when they ask”what can we offer you”, you reply “BB charger”.  You just land in your destination after a long flight and instead of switching on your phone and calling your loved ones, you end up waiting for your messages to load first. Or you wake up in the middle of the night to take a leak, and instead end up checking for notifications. I’ll let the following pictures do the talking…..

6. Your thumb consistently hurts: This is when it gets physical. You suffer from the most common side-effects of being a BlackBerry addict — a BlackBerry Thumb — a sore thumb caused by too much typing. Back in the days when I was addicted to my Nintendo Game Boy *oh memories*, I used to suffer this as well as I would play till my thumbs hurt me seriously and I would simply massage them and move on.

7. You become a technician: At this stage, you have been with and used your Blackberry long enough that you know how to even fix it when its spoilt. You don’t even bother taking it for repairs `cos now you have all the tools. You know when its a battery problem or when its a panel problem. Congratulations!

8. You always move about with one or two of these……………

`cos men you cant afford to have a flat battery. Infact, if your battery is about to run flat, you quickly enter “emergency mode”; Your BB becomes like an accident victim being rushed to the hospital and you are like “hold on baby, we`ll soon be there” only that you are actually running to the near-by barbing saloon and we all know its not `cos you wanna cut your hair. Infact, real BB addicts don’t even need all that drama to get a power source to charge their battery. There are better ways to handle that………………

9. You take care of your Blackberry so well to the point that people are convinced that you will be a good parent to your children. How? isn’t it obvious?. Your blackberry has the latest skins and covers in various colours. They enjoy shelter. That implies that you will provide good homes for your children. hehehehehehehehe

And you always recharge your BIS or BB subscription. i.e you always feed your BB. That’s the perfect proof that your kids wont go hungry too. *Oh my, I cant believe I came up with this* hehehehehehehe.

10. The last symptom is quite simple. You are probably reading this blog from a Blackberry! ………Gbam!!!

Quite revealing right? Sure it was. Now, if its that easy and dangerous to get hooked to Blackberry, we’ve got to do something about it.

So what’s the plan?……..

Well, I happen to have a beautiful blue-print designed by a friend of mine Kelly Chidi-Ogbonna,  which takes care of the situation. I found it so simple, yet so helpful and you will too when you are through. so read on, and don’t forget to view the video I talked about afterwards…..

“I just love a good laugh. Like My Pastor would say, ‘You can fast from anything aside from food’. I’ve realised in these past 5 days how to be concerned with more reasonable & inspiring activities, I switched off my data service & decided to be off social media for a while, Trust me, it was a lovely experience. A lot of people, (youth especially) are so addicted to this device (Blackberry), they change DP constantly, broadcast any kind of message & they feel they’re telling a story about themselves but they’re just an addict & can’t stay 2 days without their BB, Its has become an idol to them. They quickly subscribe if their BIS expires or wait for a day before they do so. How about trying to wait for a one week?  Don’t forget that you had a life before Blackberry & your clients could still reach you, if that’s your excuse. When last did you read & finish a BOOK in a week?, The red light that beeps distracts you a lot, that you can’t wait to reach for your phone whenever you see it. Even our very own Pastor Kenneth Hagin had to quit his addiction to newspaper in order to spend more time with the Bible & he testified about the experience. Its not about your 30 mins or 1hour morning devotion, or your subscription to ‘verse of the day’ that sends you daily scriptures. How about taking control of your own life & not making the blackberry  red light an idol?.

‘Recent Updates’ is the first place you go to whenever you hold your phone. You don’t have to be concerned with what goes on in other people’s life per say, ‘cos you think their DP (display picture) is a story like yours?  its just a picture which some people define as ‘make believe’.  Spend more time with God and you wont get over the experience. Your spirit would be tuned to God’s voice 24/7 and you would know what to do every second of your day. You’ll know the next step 2 take ‘cos you’re no t distracted. For me, I had to switch off my data service ‘cos I couldn’t wait for my BIS to expire, ‘cos it wasn’t gonna expire anytime soon. It was good to know I could wake up & my phone wasn’t the first thing I could reach for because there was no red light beeping.

Just an advice to some people. Have a good day every one.”

Admit it ……… she was talking to you!. So concise and apt and true. What else can I say. Just heed Kelly’s advice and we can kiss Blackberry addiction good-bye. It may not end immediately but it will bow with time.

Now, time for that video I promised. Even though you may not understand the language, but the message is undoubtedly clear. Enjoy…..

Feel free to tell us your own blackberry addiction symptom in the comment box below and let’s laugh and learn.

That’s all for now guys. Thanks for stopping by and until next time, remember, “Every man will have his day”

Johnson Madichie is an inspirational / social blogger based in Lagos, Nigeria and affects the world from there.

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